It is a truly surprising and unexpected grace and pleasure to find someone who understands you so very well. Often my girlfriend understands me better than I do myself; but then, that is not a very surprising thing since she is a caring and sweet girl and I'm just a damn stubborn guy. She understands me and knows what I mean even before I say it aloud (or write it down).
Yesterday I took a big step -- a big step for me. I told her the biggest mistake I have ever made, and it is a subject I am not comfortable talking about in public so you'll just have to excuse me. A part of me felt somehow soiled by things that happened a long time ago, choices that I made years ago. But she not only accepted them but even found goodness in them. I have no more big secrets to reveal to her, that was it. And she understands and loves me.
There is great wisdom in this girl. Feminine wisdom, caring and gentle. She sees very deep, and she cares so much for everybody. That is both a blessing and a curse. Wisdom like that is not necessarily easy to live with -- ignorance and shallowness certainly make for an easier life. Yet the world would be a much colder and harsher place without the feminine wisdom that my girlfriend has and so willingly uses. I admit to being a compassionate and caring person, but I'm just a guy. What I have to offer is merely a guy approach. She graces the world with her gentle feminine wisdom.
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I love you Deimos. Ashes.
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