Jealousy Vs. Envy

Many people use the expressions jealousy and envy interchangeably, although they are not synonymous. This doesn't happen only in English, but also in Finnish, possibly some other languages too. People don't seem to be quite clear about the difference. Here are some quick definitions. I am sure there are far better and more precise ones to be had, but these are enough for my purposes. When you are envious, you desire something someone else has, while jealousy makes you (possibly hostilely) possessive over something you consider yours. Neither of these is a very good thing, though one is less heinous than the other, and both have their uses.

Jealousy is generally viewed as a bad thing, and envy, while it is not exactly recommendable, is at least more understandable. But jealousy does have it uses too, as my girlfriend has pointed out to me. It simply must not get out of hand.

My girlfriend made an interesting discovery the other day. I've admitted earlier that I have issues with jealousy. But now Ashes realised that a great part of what I personally have taken as jealousy (a baaad baaad thing) is in fact envy. I am envious of other people spending time with my girl when I cannot be with her, or I have to share her company with someone else.

Yes, there is real jealousy there too, I feel the green eyed monster lurking over my shoulder all too often. But it was a relief to realise that I am not quite as bad as I thought. And it is also a wonderful thing that my girlfriend is so understanding. I never want to cage her, but yes, sometimes the green eyed monster makes me want to keep her all to myself and not to share her with even her friends. But only sometimes, and I am able to work on it and not let the jealousy rule me.